Tag Archives: fighting

Feeding the Dog in One Another

Tuesday Re-mix – This is a popular post from last year, updated and resubmitted for your consideration and comments.

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Philippians 4:8

dogfightOur Native American brothers have an interesting way of describing our conflicted behaviors.  They talk about each man having within him two dogs fighting: one good and one bad.  They say the dog that wins at the end of the day  is the one you have been feeding.

That old saying draws upon an eternal truth about the human condition.  We all have a quirky tendency to become the person we believe others perceive us to be.  Good or bad, positive or negative, we actually tend to become more and more like we believe others perceive us to be.  If you have reared children, you have seen this firsthand.  If you tell your child he is “stupid” often enough, he begins to believe you and he fulfills that prophecy.  If you tell her she is beautiful inside and out, she begins to believe that and carries herself accordingly.  There is something very powerful about our perception of others’ perceptions of us, particularly if those others are ones whom we respect or whose opinions matter to us.

This is what makes this final word from Paul’s prescription for church conflict such an amazing insight.  After walking us through some practical counsel about dealing with conflict in the church, Paul ends his advice with a final tidbit that can literally transform some of the most difficult parties to a conflict.

Paul says that, in the midst of the conflict, while we are practicing all his other counsel, we must learn to see the …