Tag Archives: confronting

Nobody Likes “Accountability”

Tuesday Re-mix – This is a popular post from last year, updated and resubmitted for your consideration and comments.

With all the recent news from the Sports world about Tiger Woods and the Chris Henry tragedy, and with church and political leaders continuing to behave badly in very public ways,  “accountability” seems to be on the forefront of people’s minds.  It seems we all believe that accountability, as a concept, is a good thing.  All of us are for it, even would insist on it…as long as it applies to someone else.  But let somebody suggest that perhaps we ourselves (i.e., you or I) might benefit from a little more accountability in our lives and suddenly it’s a nasty idea, ill-conceived, feels judgmental, and who are they to make such a suggestion anyway?  I suppose it is just a matter of perspective.

In my line of work as a church mediator, I talk and teach quite a bit about Christian accountability.  It may well be the most common subject I address.  Scripture is replete with references to it.  As Christians, we really are to be involved in one another’s lives.  Think about Nathan/David, Paul/Peter, Paul/Timothy, Peter/Ananias/Saphira, and the list goes on and on.  Think about Matthew 18, Galatians 6:1, Philippians 4, I Corinthians 5, James 5, and the list goes on and on and on.

But, interestingly, even though the Bible talks a great deal about the concept of accountability, I haven’t found an English translation yet that actually uses the word “accountability”.  In that way, it is much like the word “evangelism”…lots of scriptural support for it, but the word isn’t actually used in scripture.

And so, this leads to my quagmire.  Maybe you can help.

What better word can we use to describe the process by which I …

What’s the Opposite of Gossip?

Tuesday Re-mix – This is a popular post from last year, updated and resubmitted for your comments and consideration.

For me, “gossip” is a real hot button. It is the fuel that has grown most (probably all) of the church conflicts I have ever seen or heard about from the initial small conflict to the raging firestorm they can become. Jesus hits the topic head-on. More amazing stuff from Matthew 18…

“If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’ If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector.” Matthew 18:15-17

This is utterly transformative teaching from Jesus. Getting our brains wrapped around this in any practical sense requires some serious prayer. But for this post, let me just make five observations which touch on some common misuses and abuses of this little passage.

  1. The Only Correct Motive for this Process is Your Love for the Brother. This is a reference back to the parable of the lost sheep which Jesus uses to lead into this process. See my previous post on this parable.  If the motive in your heart is to cause him a little bit of vengeful pain, or to push him away, or to hurry up and get through these first two steps so you can take it to the church, or because you are feeling embarrassed, or because you are feeling protective of the