Tuesday Re-mix –
Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. Psalm 139:23-24
Step 4: We make a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
[I am using these Tuesday Re-mixes for a few weeks to think (again) about addiction to self-reliance and how that addiction is one of the biggest challenges to genuine community which we face in the American church culture.]
It was several years ago when a back injury made me finally give up my yardwork. That was a difficult thing for me. I actually enjoy yardwork…in my own yard, anyway. So it was difficult for me to let someone else do it. It is MY yard, and I know all of its nooks and crannies and secrets, and I certainly did not want some stranger coming in and caring for my yard. But the biggest adjustment for me in giving up that little area of self-reliance was the fact that somebody else was going to get very familiar with all of the embarrassing hidden messes in my yard…all of those corners and hidden spots which were not well-groomed and which hid some not-so-nice things.
If you have ever had someone come in and clean your house, you have felt that same feeling. They see everything…that junk drawer in the kitchen, that cabinet which hides stuff you haven’t seen in years, and that horrible, cluttered closet. It is embarrassing!
Thinking about Step 4 in our recovery from the addiction to self-reliance, taking an honest moral inventory of our inner-most life is revealing. Just like that secret cluttered closet in the house and that hidden ugly corner in the yard, our lives have secret areas of …