Tag Archives: clay

Who Gets to Determine Our Identity?

So he asked Jesse, “Are these all the sons you have?” “There is still the youngest,” Jesse answered. “He is tending the sheep.” Samuel said, “Send for him; we will not sit down until he arrives.” 1 Samuel 16:10

For you created my inmost being;
    you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
    your works are wonderful,
    I know that full well. Psalm 139:13-14

labelJesse does not get “Good Father” points for his handling of his youngest son, David, when it came time to anoint one of his sons as the next king of Israel. He did not even bother bringing David to the event. He left him in the fields to watch the sheep. After all, what were the odds that God’s agent, Samuel, would identify the youngest of all Jesse’s sons as the next king? The good news for David was this: his earthly father did not get to dictate who he was. Only his heavenly Father, his Creator, gets to do that. And David acknowledged as much in his 139th Psalm.

At a time when our culture has become obsessed with “identity” issues (gender identity, ethnic identity, political identity, etc.) this 3,000-year-old story about a boy named David begs a critical question for each of us to ask ourselves: Who gets to determine our identity? Am I the person others say I am? Am I the person my family says I am? In matters of identity, who has the final word?

I think all of us have believed a lie or two over the course of our lifetimes when it comes to answering this question. Here are some of those lies:

1. Social Media gets to determine my identity. It is the lie at the very heart …

Relationship Do-Overs

The word that came to Jeremiah from the Lord: “Arise, and go down to the potter’s house, and there I will let you hear my words.” So I went down to the potter’s house, and there he was working at his wheel. And the vessel he was making of clay was spoiled in the potter’s hand, and he reworked it into another vessel, as it seemed good to the potter to do.  Jeremiah 18:1-4

potterAs I write this post, I am enjoying some vacation time with the younger of my two adult daughters.  Just a couple of days into the vacation, I had already observed at least a half dozen things she used to like which are no longer important to her. She has changed. She is an adult now. But my mind is flooded with memories of her as a child. The truth is, we both have changed…and our relationship has changed as well.  It has become an adult friendship. Oh, I will always be her Dad. But still, it is a very different relationship today than it was 20 years ago, and that is a  good thing. Our relationship is in a whole new chapter, and it should look different.

Relationships are like that. Sometimes a particular season of a relationship runs its course and it is time for a whole new chapter.   Parent/child relationships are like that. Moreover, sometimes a particular relationship can be so toxic, so unhealthy, it needs to be radically changed, almost like starting all over again. Some co-dependent relationships are like that. And still other relationships in our life can be so damaging to us that they just need to be scratched entirely. Like a potter with his clay, something entirely different is needed.

The point is, not every relationship is a good …