Three Easy Steps to a Church Implosion

March 13, 2012

Tuesday Re-mix – 

I remember a couple of years back when First Baptist Church, Dallas, made the news with its simultaneous implosion of several buildings on its campus in preparation for a major building program.  The videos were all over YouTube.  Here is one of them.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q0nqulYY7AM&fs=1&hl=en_US]

I’m not sure what the psychology is behind this, but I am fascinated by imploding buildings.  Feel free to comment about how twisted I am.  But even as I watched this video, I thought to myself, “There are easier ways to implode a church.”  I’ve seen it happen too many times.  So, for those who are interested in imploding your church but cannot afford the actual dynamite, here is a fairly quick and easy formula…three easy steps, and you won’t even need a fund-raising campaign to pull it off:

1.  Hold onto your pain and encourage others to do the same. This is not difficult.  In fact, it is very human.  Anytime anyone does something or fails to do something and it hurts your feelings (especially if it is a church leader…extra points for that pain), DO NOT go to them and DO NOT commit it to prayer…in fact, do not do anything at all which might actually cause you to forgive and let go of that pain.  Rather, hold onto to it with every ounce of energy you have.  Stir it regularly, just to keep it festering.  Use it however you can.  It makes a wonderful excuse for just about any kind of bad behavior in which you might care to engage.

2.  Talk to as many other people about your pain as possible. Never underestimate the value of gossip for the whole implosion process.  If you share your pain with enough people (NOT with the person who actually caused the pain, but with everyone else), it can actually go “viral”.  If you are lucky enough for that to happen, your job is probably done.  The implosion is almost sure to follow.

3.  Stay out of people’s way as they implement steps 1 and 2. It is, after all, none of your business what they do with the relationships in their lives.  Leave them alone.  Do not try to hold them accountable.  Just step back and watch the implosion that eventually happens.

Final warnings: Even if you complete all three steps, your implosion could still fail, so here are a couple of extra words of advice to help your implosion…

Leave God out of it. Do not look for Him to help you with this.  In fact, He may work against you.  Of course, if He does, you will  fail.  But if you are lucky, He will step back and allow the implosion (in order to accomplish some greater good, which of course is not your problem…you still get your implosion).

Leave scripture out of it. There is way, way too much scripture about all three of these steps that will trip you up if you pay too much attention to it.  Just keep telling yourself that it was all written 2,000 years ago and has no relevance to our culture today.  That should buy you some time.

Good luck with your implosion.  I hope it brings you all the satisfaction you are seeking…but if it does not, please do not call me.  I’m pretty much in the business of putting churches back together, not tearing them down.  I may not be much help to you.

© Blake Coffee
Permissions: You are permitted and encouraged to reproduce and distribute this material in any format provided that you do not alter the wording in any way and do not charge a fee beyond the cost of reproduction. For web posting, a link to this document on this website is preferred. Any exceptions to the above must be approved by Blake Coffee.  Please include the following statement on any distributed copy: © Blake Coffee. Website: churchwhisperer.com

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